How to Be a Happy Mom: 7 New Ideas

Being a happy mom is something we all want. We want that for our kids, for our families, and most importantly, we want that for ourselves. Use these 7 new ideas to be the happiest mama out there!

1. Lower Your Expectations

I don’t mean this in a cynical way. I mean this in a realistic way. Life with kids is hard. We feel pressure to not only be the best mom, but also to be the best wife, employee, cook, cleaning lady, teacher, calendar keeper, accountant, and more. It can easily become overwhelming and lead to burnout. Start setting the bar a little lower.

Action Item

✔️ Evaluate your current expectations for yourself and your kids. Take a deep dive internally and decide if the bar you currently have set needs to be taken down a notch or two.

2. Focus Only on What You Can Control

So much of motherhood is out of our control, yet we try to keep everything in our control. Believe me, I’m guilty of this one, too.

Action Item

✔️ If the thing that is bothering you is out of your control, decide what is in your control.

For example, my daughter was very sick. We had to take her to the Emergency Department. I was scared, anxious, and upset. The ONLY thing that was in my control in that given situation was driving the car. I opted to do so, while my husband sat in the back with my daughter. Not all circumstances need to be this extreme. But even if it is, we can always find something that is in our control.

3. Prioritize Your Needs

It’s easy to become caught up in mom-life. So much so, we forget who we are and what we like along the way. But it’s important for mamas to have hobbies other than being a mom. Prioritizing yourself means making time for the things that fill your cup. (And no, I don’t mean with room temperature coffee.)

Whether that’s having a girls night with your besties, reading the book that has been on the shelf collecting dust for the last year, or taking that ceramics class you’ve been eyeing for months, it’s time for you to prioritize your needs.

Action Items

✔️ Get clear on what you need. You can’t express your needs to those around you, if you don’t even know what it is you are needing.

✔️ Communicate your needs to your village. Do this in a clear, calm, and concise matter. But the truth is, everyone wants to help. It feels good to help others. 📣 Let them help you 📣

4. Stop Buying Sh*t

Don’t get me wrong, I love a casual trip to Target as much as the next mom. But these trips often result in a stroll through the dollar spot, and me buying unnecessary crap.

Here is some real talk: Our kids don’t need more sh*t, they need more time with us. I already feel stretched thin when trying to keep up with laundry, dishes, picking up the house, and all the other chores that come along with adulting. But the reality is: Less stuff equals more time, and that’s more important to me.

Action Items

✔️ Think about how your kid(s) might benefit from experiences rather than stuff.

✔️ When online shopping, put an item in your cart, but do NOT purchase it. Wait 48 hours, and if you still desperately want that item, then go for it.

✔️ Consider doing a “buy nothing” week (or month). Only buy the necessities: groceries, gas, etc.

5. Let the Little Things Go

Every choice we make as parents feels like a colossal decision. We are constantly worried about doing the best by our kids, which is wonderful and exhausting.

In reality, our kiddos take on our stress. We have to stop stressing about the little stuff. We would never expect perfectionism from our kids, and we can’t expect it for ourselves, either.

Action Items

✔️ Pause and Ask, “Is This Really a Big Deal?” And then ask it again. Sometimes the answer is yes. Totally fine. But if the answer is no, then just do yourself a favor and drop it.

✔️ Do like Elsa, and let that sh*t go.

6. Let Emotions Coexist

We have to start making room for multiple emotions. You can be happy AND tired. You can be overjoyed AND overwhelmed. It’s all normal and healthy.

Action Items

✔️ Show yourself some compassion and grace when it comes to feeling all the feels. It’s not easy to feel the hard stuff, but it is necessary.

✔️ Label your feelings – yes, all of them. You can do this in a journal or literally out loud, in the moment. But often times, we weren’t taught to label how we are feeling. Start now.

7. No One is Going to Do It For You

A little tough love coming your way: No one and nothing is going to come and make you happy. You are completely in charge of your own happiness. As Moana says, “You can find happiness right where you are.”

Action Items

✔️ Take a good, hard look in the mirror and repeat after me, “I am in charge of my own happiness.” Seriously, these affirmations work.

✔️ If it’s been a long time since you’ve felt happy, recognize that. Then, make a change. You deserve to feel joy and fulfillment, mama!

The Wrap Up: How to Be a Happy Mom

While being a happy mama is a great goal to have, it’s also important to understand that happiness isn’t the destination, it’s the journey. Sure, we can strive to be happy more often than not. But the harder we try to push away our other feelings, the more they fight back.